Jizz

Marriage has driven more than one man to sex. -- Peter De Vries

SexRobot

The honeymoon is over when a quickie before dinner refers to a short drink.

SexRobot

Confucious say: seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.

SexRobot

My girlfriend's favorite erotic position is bending over my credit cards.

SexRobot

Remember, when preparing a dish for bedtime, champagne is the best tenderizer.

SexRobot

This system goes down more often than a two-dollar whore.

SexRobot

DIVE!!! DIVE!!! DIVE!!! UP PERISCOPE!!! (Ooops, sorry, wrong fantasy.)

SexRobot

She was only a mortician's daughter but anyone cadaver.

SexRobot

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. -- Garrison Keillor

SexRobot

Conserve energy -- make love more slowly.

SexRobot

She was a farmer's daughter but she couldn't keep her calves together.

SexRobot

Procrastinators do it tomorrow.

SexRobot

Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.

SexRobot

Moustache rides, 50 cents.

SexRobot

Love is just for now ... herpes lasts forever.

SexRobot

You might get caught holding the bag. Say she's your sister.

SexRobot

Do I like getting drunk? Depends on who's doing the drinking. -- Amy Gorin

SexRobot

Love does not make the world go around, just up and down a bit.

SexRobot

Remember, when preparing a dish for bedtime, champagne is the best tenderizer.

SexRobot

Working here is like a pregnancy. After nine months you wish you hadn't come.

SexRobot

Mathematicians do it in theory.

SexRobot

EE's do it without shorts.

SexRobot

The three faithful things in life are money, a dog and an old woman.

SexRobot

So, how's your love life? Still holding your own?

SexRobot

Sex and drugs and UNIX.

SexRobot

Do something big -- fuck a giant.

SexRobot

Save a forest - eat a beaver!

SexRobot

To be the kind of girl designed to be kissed between the thighs.

SexRobot

How come if you're horny it's lust, but if she's horny it's affection?

SexRobot

Every dog has its day, but the nights belong to the pussycats.

SexRobot

An 11 is a 10 who doesn't have headaches.

SexRobot

Love is eating her even when she's not having her period.

SexRobot

Hackers have kernel knowledge.

SexRobot

Evangelists do it with Him watching.

SexRobot

Moustache rides, 50 cents.

SexRobot

Satyrs have more faun.

SexRobot

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand!

SexRobot

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it. -- Lewis Grizzard

SexRobot

"Do you smoke after sex?" "Why, do you know, I've never looked!"

SexRobot

Masturbation! The amazing availability of it! -- James Joyce

SexRobot

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love. -- Woody Allen

SexRobot

It's easy to make a friend. What's hard is to make a stranger.

SexRobot

Confucious say: passionate kiss like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.

SexRobot

Some women achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust into them.

SexRobot

Lisp programmers do it deeper and deeper and deeper.

SexRobot

You are a tower of strength in the office, but only so-so in bed.

SexRobot

Pregnancy begins with a single sell.

SexRobot

Confucious say: man who beat off in car have hot rod.

SexRobot

This system goes down more often than a two-dollar whore.

SexRobot

A nymph hits you and steals your virginity.

SexRobot

My girlfriend's favorite erotic position is bending over my credit cards.

SexRobot

Ouch! That felt good! -- Karen Gordon

SexRobot

Confucious say: woman who ride bicycle peddle ass around town.

SexRobot

Confucious say: a smart man knows on which side his broad is better.

SexRobot

That's the most fun I've had without laughing. -- Woody Allen, on sex

SexRobot

Lawyers do it to everyone.

SexRobot

DIVE!!! DIVE!!! DIVE!!! UP PERISCOPE!!! (Ooops, sorry, wrong fantasy.)

SexRobot

Unix programmers do it with pipes.

SexRobot

That's the most fun I've had without laughing. -- Woody Allen, on sex

SexRobot

When better women are made, computer programmers will make them.

SexRobot