Jizz

Almostboobs pics

A pair in motion...

A pair in motion...

Almostboobs

My word! <--the truly not-safe-for-work version...

My word! <--the truly not-safe-for-work version...

Almostboobs

The Cuppet Show

The Cuppet Show

Almostboobs

Me: Compare her face to her boobs. Engineer: I got this!

Me: Compare her face to her boobs. Engineer: I got this!

Almostboobs

Hi, Ho!

Hi, Ho!

Almostboobs

Chemistry

Chemistry

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Girlfriend: "What the hell kind of floor lamp is THAT???" Me: "If

Girlfriend: "What the hell kind of floor lamp is THAT???" Me: "If you're THAT curious, then turn her on, yourself!"

Almostboobs

Tattoos don't count!

Tattoos don't count!

Almostboobs

This is why Betsy from Etsy can't jet ski...

This is why Betsy from Etsy can't jet ski...

Almostboobs

I call bottom!

I call bottom!

Almostboobs

Smirks are perks!

Smirks are perks!

Almostboobs

How SirJimmy learned to count...

How SirJimmy learned to count...

Almostboobs

Ain't no rest for the wicked...

Ain't no rest for the wicked...

Almostboobs

Gunpowder. Gelatine. Dynamite with a laser beam...

Gunpowder. Gelatine. Dynamite with a laser beam...

Almostboobs

The many definitions of "bound"...

The many definitions of "bound"...

Almostboobs

Too soon?

Too soon?

Almostboobs

If you're prudent and play it safe, then you won't get Ink on you...

If you're prudent and play it safe, then you won't get Ink on you...

Almostboobs

The only who can tell you, "You can't!" - is YOU...

The only who can tell you, "You can't!" - is YOU...

Almostboobs

Don't overthink it. Others in the comments...

Don't overthink it. Others in the comments...

Almostboobs

I'm also okay with kneeling...

I'm also okay with kneeling...

Almostboobs

Thanksyou'reapeach!

Thanksyou'reapeach!

Almostboobs

A Girl without Freckles is like a Night without Stars...

A Girl without Freckles is like a Night without Stars...

Almostboobs

Dark Mode Beta for Cameron Diaz (archived)...

Dark Mode Beta for Cameron Diaz (archived)...

Almostboobs

No person is completely wicked, just as no person is perfect. We are all grey...

No person is completely wicked, just as no person is perfect. We are all grey...

Almostboobs

I heat up! I cool down. When something gets in my way I go round it...

I heat up! I cool down. When something gets in my way I go round it...

Almostboobs

Tee'pol, T'pol, Tee'pol, Tee'Paw'ah'olll. I suggest you look in the comments for

Tee'pol, T'pol, Tee'pol, Tee'Paw'ah'olll. I suggest you look in the comments for more...

Almostboobs

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene. I suggest you look in the comments for more...

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene. I suggest you look in the comments for more...

Almostboobs

One of these things is not like the others!

One of these things is not like the others!

Almostboobs

Always leave 'em wanting more! Spoiler - and more - in the comments...

Always leave 'em wanting more! Spoiler - and more - in the comments...

Almostboobs

What goes up...

What goes up...

Almostboobs

Gawd bless yo mama!

Gawd bless yo mama!

Almostboobs

Necked!

Necked!

Almostboobs

"Nice pupaes, Chrysalis!"

"Nice pupaes, Chrysalis!"

Almostboobs

When suddenly having to choose and there's no time to think!

When suddenly having to choose and there's no time to think!

Almostboobs

No matter the appetite, everything is a napkin in bed...

No matter the appetite, everything is a napkin in bed...

Almostboobs

The 1960s called. They want YO MAMA!

The 1960s called. They want YO MAMA!

Almostboobs

Quarantine, day thirteen, and the onslaught continues...

Quarantine, day thirteen, and the onslaught continues...

Almostboobs

Boujee booty-booby boofy beauty!

Boujee booty-booby boofy beauty!

Almostboobs

"Craps" are better than "slots"... Ready to click?

"Craps" are better than "slots"... Ready to click?

Almostboobs

Quarantine, day 26. I proposed some new rules for our game of "I'm Not Touching

Quarantine, day 26. I proposed some new rules for our game of "I'm Not Touching You!"

Almostboobs

Oh, THIS again...

Oh, THIS again...

Almostboobs

Quarantine, day thirty. Push came to shove with one of my step-sisters...

Quarantine, day thirty. Push came to shove with one of my step-sisters...

Almostboobs

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire...

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire...

Almostboobs

Nicki Minaj rebooting after a firmware update...

Nicki Minaj rebooting after a firmware update...

Almostboobs

ME: I am NOT voting for Trump! HER:

ME: I am NOT voting for Trump! HER:

Almostboobs

HER: I am a proud Trump supporter!!

HER: I am a proud Trump supporter!!

Almostboobs

Watch once for levitation. Rewatch as need be for prestidigitation...

Watch once for levitation. Rewatch as need be for prestidigitation...

Almostboobs

Converted crossover content via our good friends at r/AlmostBooze...

Converted crossover content via our good friends at r/AlmostBooze...

Almostboobs

Ho! Boom about! Heave down or eat caulk, me Darlin'!

Ho! Boom about! Heave down or eat caulk, me Darlin'!

Almostboobs

Thanks! I hate it...

Thanks! I hate it...

Almostboobs

Too chesty for Etsy? Let's see...

Too chesty for Etsy? Let's see...

Almostboobs

To clarify: THIS is what to submit! It's source and other examples of what NOT to

To clarify: THIS is what to submit! It's source and other examples of what NOT to submit are in the comments...

Almostboobs

'Dorable the Explorable

'Dorable the Explorable

Almostboobs

Writhing in agony is better than withering & dying. Ready to click?

Writhing in agony is better than withering & dying. Ready to click?

Almostboobs

Yeah, well, I was tired of her shit, anyway...

Yeah, well, I was tired of her shit, anyway...

Almostboobs

It's mah Cake Day, Beeyatch!

It's mah Cake Day, Beeyatch!

Almostboobs

This ain't your grandfather's Frankenstein: Jeff Chapman don't build 'em like they

This ain't your grandfather's Frankenstein: Jeff Chapman don't build 'em like they used to...

Almostboobs

It's eclectic! Bewbie boobie booby!

It's eclectic! Bewbie boobie booby!

Almostboobs

Oh my GAWD! Did you just fart?!? My mouth was open...

Oh my GAWD! Did you just fart?!? My mouth was open...

Almostboobs

Capture a shadow, dance with the wind, stand in a rainbow, begin at the end...

Capture a shadow, dance with the wind, stand in a rainbow, begin at the end...

Almostboobs