Jizz

Head?

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Oh, well if he's not going to get me pregnant...

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Busted.

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Well, that's one way to interpret it…

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From a humor magazine at my school

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And don't be faggy about it.

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"I did it"

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"Wishboner"

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I have a photoshopped profile pic of four of me in my living room in different clothes/poses.

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It's like he has ESPN or something...

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Another great example of conversational excellence.

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Great Ice-Breaker

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Know your status

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An actual nice message I received...

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Creepy Dad

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Catfish fail

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"This is a shame"

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Stargindr

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Now I regret not taking advantage of you. ;D

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Shrekxy

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Well, I guess it is Kentucky after all...

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It's called cutecism

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A really nice way of saying you're not interested, allowing everyone to save face :)

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"Does it really matter!" Then proceeds to make it matter.

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I was sleeping. Grandma is not pleased.

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grindr_irl

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I gotta admire his dedication for the dick

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No patiece

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Merry Christmas!

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Straight Bottom; Done it a Few Times

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Uh what?

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No, Stevie. No, I haven't

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Just gonna check my doors are locked

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I think LinkedIn might be more up his alley.

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Just everything that's wrong with us "fucking mallinials"...

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:/

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MAGA

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*locks doors*

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I don't feel like I made an unreasonable assumption

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On Brexit

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My reputation precedes me

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Actually one of the nicest introductions that included an unsolicited dick pic

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Taking longer than 15 minutes to reply makes me a "flake ass bitch"

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One way to do leftovers...

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Starting off the new years with a laugh

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What an opener

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The gay community in a nutshell

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It finally happened to me..

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At least they're honest about it

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What a lovely cleaner

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oh my

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